As I typed this blog, I've somewhat calmed down abit. Just called mum and dad to get permission to go Summer Program. Mum allows. But dad don't. And I knew he wouldn't let me. But guess what's his excuse was? Because he says I'm a girl!? WTF? What a lousy excuse. I understand he will be worried etc etc. But I'm a freaking 20 years-old girl! And turning 21 in 7months time!! How long are you going to forbid me to do things that adult can do? I'm not a freaking 8 years old and nor am I someone who can't think for herself!
And it's not the first time this happens. It only makes me more determined to disobey him the moment I turn 21 of age. I'm going to go travelling to wherever I want to - Taiwan, Hong Kong, Macau. Go casinos overseas, go do things blatantly without having to hide. Stayover at friend's house if I want. I'm not gona listen or obey what he says. Whatever he says, I'm just gona do the opposite way. I'll keep possession of my passport, travel as and when I like. Sign up for overseas internships, for overseas school trips, just doing things I want!
Actually I'm abit tempted to go Genting after my finals. Well, it's with friends of course. And I'm not going to let him stop me. Didn't he realise that I'm just respecting him by letting him know what I'm going to do? I can always do things first before telling him! I can always sign up for the summer program, settle all the stuff and let him know like 1 week before leaving! How can he stop me then? Why can't he understand that? Why can't he understand the fact the the more you repressed me now, the more you forbid me to do things I wanted to do, the more I'll do them behind your back, the more I'll oppose you in the future?! HE JUST DOESN'T GET IT AND WILL NEVER EVER GET IT!
Well, what's the point now? I've already taken note of all the things he doesn't allow me to do - NOC, SEP, SP, Taiwan trip with Joyce. Yes, I understand the latter is more of a waste of money since it's leisure trip and I've yet to start earning my income yet I'm spending. And what's with "I'll not forbid you to go overseas if it's to study. But never to travel when you've yet to start earning your own income." to become "You're a girl, you shouldn't travel overseas it's dangerous. And it's not compulsory so don't go!". FUCK LA~ FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK~
He'll regret forbidding me to do all the things now. I'll make sure of that!
And nayway, I decided not to go home until my finals end. That's like 1 month? Well, just to show him that I can live independently. And I also don't wish to go home and face him. Damn. Well, you can say that I'm rebellious, but who made me rebel? Right? So if you're a parent and you're reading this blog, do know that there's a time that your child would have grown up and there's nothing wrong with being a girl and so you're more vulnerable. WTF is this kind of logic. It doesn't mean that if you have 5 sons, they will be safer if they travel overseas compared to 5girls. Hello, wake up your idea please!
4:07 PM
Thursday, March 10, 2011
IHG season is officially over. Actually it's been over for like 2 weeks already. And this week is the photoshoot week whereby sports and committees have their pictures taken so as to be published in the yearly magazine.
Had my basketball and handball photoshoot on Monday and Tuesday respectively. Just had my floorball photoshoot today. Of all the photoshoot, I think floorball photoshoot is the one that dragged the longest! 1.5hour until I finally came up to my room since I left for photoshoot. And after today, I officially made up my mind not to join the floorball team next year. There are a few reasons.
Reason Number 1: I had just been elected for basketball captain. I know I had been declaring to take up captaincy for any sports in KR but since there was noone to take it up, and I think most players have high hopes on me, I decided to give it a try. Anyway, I'll just be there to lead the team. And with Carena and Sunlu and Mel Khoo still in the team, there's always people to support and help me along.
So, with this Captain position in hand, I can foresee that it'll be a very busy and perhaps a bit stressful period next year for me.
Reason Number 2: Again, related to basketball. I sort of made up my mind to pour all my heart and soul into just basketball after ihg this season. Seeing how I hardly can make it for floorball training and didn't turn up regularly, I decided that it's better that I don't waste anyone's time as well as mine. I rather put all my sweat and blood into just basketball, which I had a good feeling that we can do very well next year - even better than this year I guessed. Though I'll feel a bit bad for Weiwei, as well as the next floorball captain, either Laura or Fel. But, I'll still be supporting them in spirit.
Reason Number 3: After touching floorball for this season, I came to a conclusion that it is definitely not an easy sport to pick up. Certainly not for me who's more of hands-on-ball person rather than a stick-person. Furthermore, there are more people who are far more committed and learn faster than me. Suwano being one of them.
Reason Number 4: I didn't play much during the ihg season. I'll conclude it as a 3minutes standing-on-court-and-just-shielding-the-player-and-didn't-even-have-a-chance-to-touch-the-ball-at-all season. So imagine waking up at 9am after the TH game the day before, and warming up, sit on bench and cheer and team talk and cool down for 5times that day. Then, throughout the 10hours in MPSH, I only 'played' for a freaking 3minute game, it certainly wasn't a very pleasant experience for me. As I've mentioned, I knew and understood and even mentally prepared myself that I would not get to play much. But even when we were leading 3-0 and 4-0 and I still don't get to play?! Well, it certainly demoralised me all the way. And it reminded me of my end of Sec3 experience in basketball. Which ended up in me losing heart and giving up on playing basketball for 1 whole year. The feeling was damn depressing. :'( I don't want to ever experience that bad bad experience ever again. So I made up my mind to not join ihg floorball/
Reason Number 5: As I've mentioned, I didn't go for most of the training after school started. Well, I did turn up for almost ALL of the trainings during the holiday. But at that time, half the team wasn't even there at all! Not to mention interacting with the players. After training commences in Sem2, I had all my attention focused first on handball, then on basketball. So I'm certainly not very close to the players. Furthermore, most players know each other quite well in the first place. And I don't feel very welcoming during trainings. Like I'm a phantom player. Just standing there. Sometimes I just wished that I didn't go for the training at all. But again, because of Weiwei, I just held everything back and continue to support her all the way. Well, must support my captain neighbour ma. I knew she's having a hard time so I don't want to add on to her worries and burden and trouble.
Well, I guess that's almost everything I had. And I certainly think that Reason No. 5 is the real reason I didn't want to continue. Because floorball is a teamsport. But playing floorball in the team doesn't make me feel that I'm part of the team at all. I'm ignored, forgotten, and always in some corner. No point joining a sport that I don't feel part of the team right?
So oh wells, they've still got enough players better than me. And certainly, next year they'll definitely pull in some new and better players from somewhere. So, need not worry at all that most of the experienced players are going for exchange blah blah~
And as for handball, I'm not very sure if I want to continue. I don't mind playing. But I don't want to spend too much time on it because it's a very new sport that I've picked up. And we certainly would not be able to make it no matter how hard we train. We're just not there. Perhaps another 2years, we'll certainly have a chance. But not now.
Basketball, yes, it's the only sport that KR have a chance in. Furthermore, I just want to get a gold and then leave KR. That's my main purpose for staying another year in hall actually. Because this one year has enabled me to experience whatever hall life I've seeked for in the first place. Nothing much left for me to reminise about it.
Ok, time to mug abit more and sleep! Hope to update soon! And it certainly feels so good after pouring out all my feelings and thoughts! :)
2:05 AM
Welcome!
Life is full of uncertainty, and it is these uncertainty that makes life colourful and interesting... ...
AboutMe
Name: Ow-Yang Zhi Jun
Age: 19
D.O.B: 1 November
Horoscope: Scorpio
Hobbies: Sports-basketball;Badminton;Swimming;Bowling;Pool, Surfing the net, Facebook
Schools: Naval Base Primary School, Yishun Town Secondary School, Anderson Junior College, National University of Singapore
Wish List
* CAP of MIN 4.0 throughout my university life! :) *
>> Repair my Laptop!
>> Get my driving license by September >> Get a haircut >> Get a slipcase(nice one) for my lappy >> Anti-virus software-most probably AVG
>> Get a crumpler bag
>> 14.1" screen protector for my laptop
>> Basketball shoes-though now not playing in team, but still playing outside! And my current shoe no friction and cushion already!
>> Get iTouch
>> A pair of slippers(comfy type + for beach)
>> A wallet to put my keys(to prevent them from scratching things like my handphone and mp3, actually just for convenience)
>> Get a NEW Keyboard protector (old one torn -.-)
>> Get a better mouse(wireless)
>> Heels(to match some of my clothes)
>> A cupboard-cum-bookshelves for my books
>> 2KG Dumbells(to start doing abit of training lest my arms get flabby!)
>> Buy a dog (preferably Shetland Sheepdog or Border Collie)
>> Get a pinky ring to 避邪 and 防小人
